2015 Christmas Letter: Pay Up

I’m making my Christmas letter a subscription service. After reading, please remit payment of $0.37. Please ensure that the entirety of payment is in pennies. Failure to do so will result in absolutely nothing happening. So carry on as usual. Now that the business procedures have been addressed, let’s troll the ancient yuletide carol! And […]

Buzzkill: Death to Buzzwords

August 28, 2014

One of my strengths is making fun of things. Also, I have no friends. Anyway, buzzwords lend themselves to “pointing and laughing.” How can anyone be taken seriously when this is uttered, “We need to accelerate the actionable best practices in order to have end-to-end collaboration within our brand.” I frequent some industry Twitter chats […]

Your marketing plan is going to fail and it’s ok

My nine year old daughter lost her bid for Vice President of the Student Council by 20 votes. Obviously, I’m going to demand a recount. There had to be some hanging chads. We’re still determining whether or not a Congressional Inquiry is needed. Ok, ok, ok … she lost fair and square. Thankfully, according to her teacher, she took the defeat much more gracefully than I did. There’s a lesson to be learned here. I just haven’t figured out what it is. READ MORE