Are you pregnant or just fat?

First of all, never say this to a woman. Secondly, NEVER say this to a woman. Now on to the subject at hand. This post was inevitable as my beautiful bride, Jenny, is expecting our fourth child any day now. I am no expert on pregnancy as I’ve never been with child. (Yes, people still use the term “with child.” Awesome.) I have been around my wife for all four of her pregnancies. So I claim second hand revelation. Not as good as first, but it will have to do.