Losing stinks. I was fully invested in the U.S. Women’s soccer team run for the World Cup. Despite playing a great overall game, the U.S. team fell short in the final to the deserving champion, Japan. Seeing the U.S. lose after overcoming Brazil and France in stunning fashion was tough to take. The team was gracious in defeat, though. How you lose sets you up for your next win.

Nothing says triumph over tragedy like Japan’s world cup win. Just four months after their country suffered its greatest loss from natural disaster, the Japanese women’s team proved to be winners. Great adversity provides an opportunity for great accomplishment.

Everyone loves to win. No one wakes up in the morning with a burning desire to lose at whatever they do. The desire to succeed is part of who we are. I have had to quell my desire to win at everything as I’ve gotten older. I’ve learned that destroying everyone in my way to be a glorious champion is not only impossible but also results in angry friends and relatives. Losing is still terrible, though. I just hide my disdain much better.

The U.S. team’s path to the World Cup final was exciting, harrowing, frustrating and amazing. As much as that tested the mettle of these women, the following days will do so all the more. Both of the U.S. and Japan have shown that perseverance will result in wins. I’m sure the U.S. team will move past this to enjoy many other great wins. They have proven that they have the right perspective.

Team USA’s unbelievable comeback win against Brazil was all about persevering. The sentiment from the U.S. players after the loss to Japan showed perspective. They expressed disappointment, but congratulated the victorious. Sure, it hurts to lose, but tomorrow is another chance to win. We are going to lose at some point. Not every day is a triumphant procession of awesomality and goodness. Learn from the mistakes and realize better days are ahead.

When a loss happens the first thing we have to fight against is bad perspective. “Woe is me” or “the world is against me” attitudes do not produce champions whether it is on the field or in the home or office. The sooner we can leave a disappointing loss behind the closer we are to our next win. After blowing a large lead at the Master’s golfer Rory McIlroy said, “There are a lot worse things that can happen in your life. Shooting a bad score in the last round of a golf tournament is nothing in comparison to what other people go through.” McIlroy went on to win the U.S. Open Championship by eight strokes a few weeks later. Perspective matters.

Once our sight is right we must press on through pain and disappointment. We have a choice to make losing define us or shape us. To be defined as a loser is never good. To be shaped by losing is not bad in the least. We must decide what shape we will take. A defeat can be our greatest teacher. Identifying our weaknesses and doing something to combat them will set us up for bigger and better wins in the future.

The U.S. women’s soccer team gave our country joy and excitement the last few weeks. In their own minds, I am sure they have already identified areas of improvement. Champions are never formed without introspection. They are always honing, tweaking and preparing for the next challenge with expectation of success.

We may not lose a championship on a world stage, but we will face serious challenges in life that will test our perseverance and perspective. In those moments keep your vision on the bigger picture and do not quit. You were made to win.

There is nothing like accomplishing a goal especially when time is running out, it looks as though all hope is lost … and the referees and Brazilians are doing everything they can to stop you. That last part may or may not be applicable to your everyday life. Goals are very applicable, though.

The journey for Abby Wambach and the US Women’s soccer team to pull out their amazing victory over Brazil started long ago when no one was watching. It started individually before they came together as one team with the desire to be the best soccer players possible. They put themselves through hours of training, drills and games that only parents showed up to. Collectively their goal was shaped in a similar fashion. I’m not really letting the cat out of the bag by saying that soccer is not exactly the most watched sport in America, much less women’s soccer. Even as these women reached the top of their game, the attention and support that other elite athletes enjoy was not always free flowing. But that did not stop them from pursuing their goals.

Down 2-1 with 122 minutes gone the team’s hopes of World Cup glory were all but gone. The picture was bleak not too mention questionable to horrible calls by the referees and poor gamesmanship by Brazilians trying to run out the clock. But there was still time left and there was still fight left. They chose to keep going for the goal. The choice to fight against all odds to accomplish your goals starts before the quarterfinals of the World Cup. It begins on the training ground. It ends with a header in the back of the net.

Before we score our goals we have to set them. What do you want to accomplish today, this week, month, year, decade, life? Write them down. Don’t forget about them, either. Go back and read them from time to time to see if you are still moving towards them. Maybe you will have to rewrite them. I wanted to be a horse rancher when I was 7. I’ve ridden a horse once. When I was a freshman I wanted to be in the NBA. I’m a super white guy with average speed and jumping ability. My goals have changed.

Preparation is a must. I will say I did little or no preparation to be a horse rancher in my youth. Motivation was misplaced by cartoons. Basketball was a different story. I would shoot baskets and do drills for hours on end. I didn’t quite make it to the Association but I was a decent high school player and built some great memories. The journey to the goal can be as rewarding as reaching it, if we choose to enjoy the process.

Lets get real. There are times in life that everything seems to be going against us. The refs are bad. The other team is cheating. You are down a man (or woman). The shots are not going in. We cannot focus on the things that are going wrong that we have no control over. We can only control what is in our hands. What is in our hands is the ability to prepare, the choice to believe for the best and the resolve to not give up in the face of difficulty. It could be that the right strategies have been put in place, the best ideas have been tried and the greatest effort has been put forth and still there is no victory … yet. Stay on the field. Keep running towards the goal. The unexpected can happen at any time. Even at the last minute.

My freshman year in basketball we were playing our rivals Ballard. We were a small private school and some of our guys were not top academic all-stars. Three or Four of our players were ineligible to play because of poor grades. We started the game with five players but at the first dead ball Jared McGuffey had to sit the rest of the game. So we had to play a man down with no reserves for the entire game. Four against five … what are the chances of staying in the game much less winning? Somehow we played with enough belief and heart to stay in the game. We managed to tie the game in the last minute despite being completely worn out. With only a few seconds left, Jared’s older brother John was bringing the ball up the floor for a final possession. The opposing team was all over him and he lost the ball. It rolled to me on the baseline. I picked it up and shot it. The buzzer sounded and the ball went through the net. Pandemonium! We won!

Some might say that was a lucky shot for a freshman to hit in that situation. I disagree. The goal was made long before it was shot in that game. It was made on an empty concrete court by the dairy barn. When no one is there to see you, keep preparing, keeping training, keep shooting and when the real challenge comes nothing will shake you.