I’m making my Christmas letter a subscription service. After reading, please remit payment of $0.37. Please ensure that the entirety of payment is in pennies. Failure to do so will result in absolutely nothing happening. So carry on as usual. Now that the business procedures have been addressed, let’s troll the ancient yuletide carol! And

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Ho, ho, holy moly what happened to 2014! I just wrote you guys and here we are again. We must be having a blast because time is moving at warp speed. Addie is sleeping in a big girl bed, Josiah is in kindergarten, Cassia has solved the gas price problem and Elena Kay turns 10 this month!!! (Note to

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2013 – Usually this would be the year that we would have another child. We didn’t do that. I know this is terrible news for the rest of humanity as we have robbed everyone of another beautiful Rowan child. Alas, all good things must come to an end including our part in increasing the earth’s

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Do customers stand in line for hours on end through blizzards, hurricanes and earthquakes just to get their greedy little hands on what you are selling? No. No they do not. Unless Tim Cook, Michael Jordan and Kazou Hirai are reading my blog now the answer is going to be no for just about everybody.

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One of my strengths is making fun of things. Also, I have no friends. Anyway, buzzwords lend themselves to “pointing and laughing.” How can anyone be taken seriously when this is uttered, “We need to accelerate the actionable best practices in order to have end-to-end collaboration within our brand.” I frequent some industry Twitter chats

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We are always hearing from the “experts” on “5 Tips to Craft An Impenetrable Social Media Profile Pic” or “7 Ways to Track Your ROI Engagement Feedback Score.” But isn’t it high time we upped the ante? Let’s expand the conversation … 5, 7 and 10 tips can’t really cover the all glory and pomp that is social media. READ MORE

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Dude. You’re doing it wrong. Brash, I know … but the truth hurts. Your business has some marketing failures. I’ve been on your websites and social media profiles. I’ve seen your print collateral. Or worst of all, I’ve not seen anything and I don’t even know you exist! READ MORE

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Direct mail is soooo last century. Amirite? Actually, no. Direct mail works today. Caveat alert! It works if you do it right. How do you do it the right way? Two quick tips. Audience: Know who you are trying to target and find those people. If you are looking for new … READ MORE

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I don’t think anyone has ever answered this question in the history of social media. So I’m going to take a crack at it. (Written in sarcasm font.) It is a legitimate question because the landscape of social media is constantly changing. The heavy hitters aka Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn … READ MORE

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My nine year old daughter lost her bid for Vice President of the Student Council by 20 votes. Obviously, I’m going to demand a recount. There had to be some hanging chads. We’re still determining whether or not a Congressional Inquiry is needed. Ok, ok, ok … she lost fair and square. Thankfully, according to her teacher, she took the defeat much more gracefully than I did. There’s a lesson to be learned here. I just haven’t figured out what it is. READ MORE

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one: “Timing is everything.” Okay, don’t really stop me because this would be the world’s shortest and most useless blog post. It’s safe to say that most people in the English speaking world have either said this phrase, heard it or probably both. I think non-English people probably say it too. READ MORE

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Hey, remember when Hollywood made a movie about Rock People who helped build a giant boat and an environmentally-conscious, murderous psychopath and tried to pass it off as Noah? Kidding, I’m not getting into that, but back when Noah really did set his feet on the newly rearranged, green earth God made him a promise. We find it in Genesis 8:22:

“For as long as Earth lasts, planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never stop.” – God

Let me check … yes, the Earth is still here. That means we will reap what we sow. READ MORE

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